Didn't finish...

OMG I love my new place! Have I mentioned how much I love this place? Have I mentioned how fantabulous it is? So far I've had two parties and they were rockin'.

I freakin' LOVE Whole Foods! OMG how did I live so long without Whole Foods???

I won't tell you about all the freakin' fabulous food I've had because unless you live in a Foodie city like Paris, or NYC, or San Fran you will be very jellus.

But I didn't finish.

I didn't finish my expedition of 15 years worth of my life stuffed into a studio apartment. Almost! I pulled several all nighters, but hey a girl's gotta have a life ya know?

So this week, in between food orgies, I have PROMISED myself that I WILL organize, de-clutter, and clean up one drawer every day. Just one, and eventually I will be done, right? Right. ( As an aside, they say that the worst broken promises are the ones to yourself, and I subscribe to that principle. Thusly I make very few promises to myself.)

So I've been good on my promise all this week. Even tonight when all I really wanted to do was watch Leo's pre-Titanic stardom movie "Total Eclipse" or some other of my soft gay porn because I met this Euro Hottie today while at the booze store and well...

Ok so no Leo tonight, but I found some interesting stuff.

I found a card, unsent, to my dear Grand-father who died in 1999. I don't know why I didn't send it? God, how awful was I. All I could (still) think about back then was Mommymommymommymommymommyiwantmymommy when I should have been move loving to my Grandpa. I wasn't a bad grand-daughter but I could have appreciated him more.

The card is sitting next to a picture of him and I on the mantel (I have a mantel?)above which sits Grandpa's oil painting he willed to me.

But I also found something that hit me. Something horrible. Something that might have flattened another woman, but hey not me. What is being raped compared to adoption? LOLOLOL

So this was written in 1994/95.

It was late August
That fateful day
Two friends out to have some fun
Before the Fall semester had begun

Who could have known
How the night would end
Nothing bad can happen
When you are with friends

That's what I thought
When I went out that night
Only later I would have
To fight for my life

I keep thinking about
What could I have done?
I keep asking myself
When could I have run?

Bad judgement was my only crime
It shouldn't be me who is doing the time
But here I am locked indoors
Because I don't go out anymore

And every morning I see the sores
On my neck, and under my eyes
Will there come a day?
When will it end?
Will there come a time
When my soul can mend?


--------------------------------------

And then another card. This one to my Mother. No clue when I bought it, but guessing it is over 10 years old. Should I send it? Hmmmm

I mean I could say hey I realize this is over 10 years late, but gee Ma remember when you were once 15 years late?